What's Stopping You From Losing Weight?

Am I the only one who has crazy conversations with herself? Example:

A stylist tells me that my hair is unusually dry and I should do something. I think to myself, "all I do is moisturize my hair". Then, like a flash of light, out of nowhere, I think, "I should try drinking more water since I drink virtually zero water. Maybe that is why my skin and hair feel like paper?  I should hydrate from the inside!"

Ok, that's normal. As a 43-year-old woman, I should already know I need to drink water. But I hate water, as it's not diet soda. So my internal discussion continues.

Then I think to myself, "How can I add more water to my diet? Eat more vegetables with a higher water content? Eat juicier foods? Drink less diet soda? Should I text my nutritional counselor, who is now retired, at 12:46 am on a Wednesday to ask her to how get more water in my diet? What else could I do?"

Water always looks sexier than it is, doesn't it?


This is a conversation I legitimately had with myself last night while deciding if  "binge eating" included eating another apple sandwich with Chik-Fil-A honey mustard in the little plastic tub after midnight. Somewhere in the back of my mind, something squeaked, "it's just a way for you to eat more sugar. Stop eating full stop.*" So what did I do? I skipped the bread and just ate apple slices and the honey mustard, which is basically pure sugar, by the way. I know Weight Watchers reminds me that I didn't get overweight by eating apples. But apples with sugar sauce after midnight? That seems like some kind of wish for a Gremlin to destroy all of my hard work, does it not?

Why do I let this guy make my food decisions? A dude who looks like that and sounds like Bridget Jones should not be in charge of me, right?
So why do I beg for the Gremlins to come in and take over? Probably because I'm self-soothing with food again, for reasons I don't fully understand. And since that is a longer post that involves professional help, what can we learn from my silly post-midnight, sugary-mustard-induced musings?

You know what food is good for you. And you know what food isn't. You know. You're pretty smart, after all. You may not like how the answer feels or even tastes, but you know the answer. I'm not talking organics over GMO. I'm not even talking Quinoa over rice. You know that giant restaurant meal isn't one serving. You know a large serving of fries is not your friend. You know guzzling soda isn't going to work long term. You know "just this once-ing" all of the time isn't working. You just have to make the choice that takes you where you want to go. 

It's in everything and scientists now say that sugar calories are not like other calories, as we were previously taught. 
Speaking of foods that are on the no list, let's talk about my public enemy number one. SUGAR. Sugar is officially on my naughty list these days. But like an abusive boyfriend who is also the sweetest, it's hard to ignore. Especially when it worms its way into my thoughts, how I feel and how bloated my face looked after the NB incident of 2016. I've been too embarrassed to tell you about the box of Nutty Buddy Bars I ate in one sitting, which actually made me physically ill for days. I had mood swings, headaches, I couldn't focus and my thoughts were wildly all over the place. Not to mention how I couldn't stop jonesing for more sugar. I knew what the right decision was when I was sitting on that couch, watching James Corden sing with Madonna, but I still ate the whole box, quietly, as to not wake my husband. Listening to the wrong inner monolog is what is stopping me from maintaining my weight loss.

So what's stopping you from losing weight? It's every decision you make with a cavalier attitude that doesn't actually consider if that decision is in line with your long-term goals. It's every time you reach for something, think you shouldn't and then pop it in your mouth anyway. It's every time you find an excuse not to hit the gym, or not even to do burpees in the basement. Sure, there's the fact that our easy, inexpensive food options are usually garbage, no-nutrient food. And the sugar in everything is beyond our current control. But still, as a fairly capable human, I know that eating sugary mustard sauce after midnight, or before midnight, is not a good snack. Neither is more pasta than you can fit in your hands, fried food (unless it's Lake Trout, which everyone should try once just to say they tried it), more than one serving of cookies or anything eaten as a single serving that comes in a bag bigger than your head. In the immortal words of  Eric the Actor, "You know what to do. You know what to do."

Each decision is a crossroad on your journey. You choose the path. But do you have the mettle to make the right choice when the gnocchi meets the plate? I think you do. Even when the cookies are out and the mustard sauce is peeled and apples are sliced. You can make the right choice. Because there is a little voice in your head that says smart stuff, like "try drinking more water." You just have to listen to it.

*true side note: My inner monolog is often trapped inside the word choices of the first Bridget Jones book. Am I the only one who's inner voice is sometimes British?

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Gouldylox is a lifestyle blog focusing on beauty, hair, makeup, skincare, health, fashion, cannabis, weight loss, diet & fitness tips to help real women look and feel their best.

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  1. I really liked this and found it helpful because I was just lamenting yesterday that my mouth sometimes eats things before my brain is engaged and I'm fully present. I'm trying to make sure I'm in touch with my true feelings and my true hunger before I eat, and I'm trying to make the best choices to feed my body for health and energy. Instead of filling that void where I need love and attention and affection using sugar, I'm going to try to deal with my emotions and find other ways to comfort myself.

    1. Exactly!! But wow is it hard to do that when your mouth monster is silently just saying "feed me" over and over again. Sometimes, I guess we just have to have a convo with our inner gremlin and tell him to settle his bits.

  2. Kelly, I was already enjoying every word of this article and then I read the Eric the Actor quote and I fell in love with you forever. My struggle with the mouth monster will always be there but it helps to know that someone as lovely and articulate as you feels the same way. Good luck with the water consumption.

    1. Yeah, I'm already out of grape drink. Although my hair did seem to perk up with more water. I wonder how fast that really works? Water is just not my thing. I'm sorry you struggle with the mouth monster, too. Also, every time I remember Eric, I think of him and his worry about werewolves on the set of in Plain Sight. <3

    2. I was going to say the same thing as Anonymous above. Aww, RIP Eric.

  3. I loved this! It's great that you share so that sometimes we feel not so alone with our crazy thoughts! I have a discussion with myself everyday over diet soda vs water. I hate water, I feel bloated (example of convo's I have with myself - water makes me sick to my stomach, so I'll get a a diet soda because I have to get xyz done and can't feel sick; is it the carbonation b/c seltzer water doesn't make me feel sick or am I just craving the "sweetness" of diet soda whereas water is just meh - no flavor, has diet soda reprogrammed my brain? And it goes on). I struggle with ice cream, chocolate and potato chips. I seem to be able to ignore other bad foods but between a sedentary life (sitting in an office 12 hrs a day) and those 3 bad stress food choices (chocolate for a late afternoon pick-me-up, which leads to 2 or 3 or 15 pieces), I am only just maintaining my over-weight body and not reducing.


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