A few weeks ago I was hunkered down in bed, unable to lift my head. A spinal tap left a small leak in my spinal cord. While not entirely uncommon, it is incredibly painful--especially on top of the migraine that wouldn't leave. I had the spinal tap to try to get to the bottom of the headaches that had been plaguing me for over three weeks straight. Unfortunately, we only learned that my intracranial pressure and my optic nerves are giving opposite information. In other words, we basically learned nothing.
Unable to lift my head, keep my eyes open or even get out of bed, I watched a lot of television. A lot of television. If you are my friend on Facebook, apparently I managed to chronicle some of my thoughts via my phone. It turns out, when I'm zonked by pain and the painkillers which did nothing, I think about hair. Lots and lots of hair. Mainly hair from the 80's. Some thoughts got stuck in my mind more than others. Here are the thoughts I got a little too obsessed with...
Why did Prince and Wendy have the same haircut in Purple Rain? In a small way, it's similar to the same cut Miley made famous last summer, by shaving one side of her head. Sure, she had forgone the mousse, but otherwise, it was similar. Having lopsided hair is such an obvious choice. It seems strange to me that two people in the same band would have the exact same cut. For such a style-conscious film, it's an odd choice.
Why are haircuts for women currently either short or long? There are very few in between cuts and no one seems to have a cut like this one, from Valley Girl. Perhaps it's because it's too reminiscent of a mullet. It's adorable on the star of the film, and it's very versatile. Haircuts like this, on stylish people, seem to be just a distant memory. Why is that? For a solid hour and a half, I considered cutting my hair to match Deborah Foreman. Then I realized that my straight hair would be much better suited for the styles featured in the next movie I became obsessed with: Valley of the Dolls.
Valley of Dolls didn't make much sense to me at all. It was more like one long hair and fashion show, with Sharon Tate and Patti Duke. I suppose it didn't help that I wasn't aware that Dolls was a euphemism for a certain type of pills. Either way, the hair in this movie is fierce.
There is barely a shot of this film that doesn't have amazing hair. The topknot seemed to be as popular then as it is now (I believe it was called a "Cocktail Bun" at the time). Bouffant ponys were all of the rage in that film as well. A little googling led me to the discovery of hair rats. I'm so glad we've moved on to sponges. A hair rat might make Loxy through up his hands and leave.
Finally, I was mesmerized by what a huge miss Helen Hunt's hair was in Girls Just Want to Have Fun. I didn't see that film when I was younger but, at the suggestion of many on Facebook, I decided to watch. It's terrible. From the music covers to ridiculous dancing, it's almost unwatchable (So is my beloved film, The Outsiders. Watch it now. It's so bad.).
But what were they thinking with Helen Hunt? From that crazy bug hat to the weird upside down hair, it was trying so hard that it missed capturing the 80's and looks like a comic book portrayal of wacky fashion from the future. What were they thinking?
While I love hair, I'm glad to be back in the world of those who can stand up without help. And I'm relieved to find other things to fixate on, instead of odd hair trends from decades past. What are the hairstyles that you hope never make a comeback?
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