Unless you're a new reader (there is no other excuse I can think of), you know that I've been growing my hair out for the last three and a half years. It started as a super short pixie, a la Halle Berry, and is now mere inches away from being able to get stuck in my armpit.
Which is honestly my official goal.
Ask my stylist Bethany. I said, "I just want to be able to hold it in my armpit." I swear I'm lucky she still lets me make appointments.
No one tells you these things when you consider growing out your hair. While none of them are actually deal breakers, they are strangely annoying. Have they happened to you?
1. Your hair gets stuck in weird places. Like car doors. Maybe it's part of me being a klutz, but that has happened to me on more than one occasion. Am I the only one?
3. It gets in your butt crack. I thought I was the only one this happened to, until I mentioned it to a few of my co-workers. When you wash your hair, you shed. Sometimes, for us lucky ones, it stops by your crack and never moves on. When you wash your tush, your body poof collects the extra hair. It's honestly a little shocking. Why doesn't anyone ever mention this?
4. Having long hair in warm weather is like wearing a ski cap in the desert. I have really thick hair and every time I blow dry my hair, I spend an extra few minutes cool-shooting my whole head so I won't sweat like a CEO in Oscar Bluth's sweat lodge. It's amazing how much heat your hair traps.
5. You become afraid of windows. Not because I'm afraid my hair will get caught in them (although maybe I should be.) Gods forbid you are riding along happily in a car, singing a song from the 80's with your friends, and then some wise arse puts a window down. One minute, you're all cute and the next, there are thousands of little whips swirling around and beating you in the eye balls. At least I understand why everyone with long hair wears hair ties like fashion accessories with really expensive watches.
6. Even worse, you'll do it to yourself. Picture you walking down a corridor, hair in a sassy, mid-head pony. Someone calls your name and you whip your head around to see who called you. A half second later, you give your own eye a swift lashing. Your own eye! Luckily, I wear glasses, the only thing preventing serious damage to my right eye. My sister Abz has real issues with this, however.
7. Cats like to eat it. I can't explain why, but my cat loves to try to eat my hair. Not only is this probably bad for the cat, it's not good for my hair. I have tons of weird little pieces because he loves to nuzzle me and purr. And then chomp and shake my hair, like he's wrestling a ninja. Then he licks it, like it's a friend he wants to keep. It's a horrible way to wake up. And it's really horrible when the cat thinks your hair is fighting back and his claws snag your ear.
While none of this is dreadful enough for me to go short (at least right now), I do wish someone would have warned me. What else should potential-long-hairs be weary of? What quirks does your hair have? Share them, will ya?
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