Oddities: The Reason I Was Basically Silent Last Week.


You may have noticed I have noticed I was largely off the grid for most of last week. Not because I wanted to be, but because my day job has been insane and for the first time in more than three years, I couldn't do it all. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been up to shenanigans. I just haven't had time to properly report on them. Last week, I was on a TV shoot that took me to Santa Monica, where I did not get to see enough of my West Coast friends. But after reading everything that happened to me, they are probably glad we ended up NOT having dinner after all.

So here goes and I warn you, there is not a huge amount of beauty-related news within this post, but there are certainly misadventures. Please note. As I write the first draft ( or "Arafat", as my spell check keeps insisting), it's only Wednesday.

I arrived on the sunny, warm coast on Monday, and travelled uneventfully. But that only lasted for so long. I was out there to shoot a TV commercial with a special effects company that worked on The Hunger Games and The Cabin In the Woods and lots more big stuff. After hours of discussing how birds would play amplified music on a beach with no obvious signs of power, we headed for the hotel. I find that my weeks have been filled with similar and serious conversations about how real birds play drums and comb their hair. And I get paid for this. The world is a strange place. 

On the way back to the hotel, we saw a woman walking what may have actually been a donkey along the side of the road in Malibu. It could have been a grey dog the size of a donkey with a weird neck and small ears, but I'd prefer to think of it as a donkey. However, the following morning on GMA, I saw a story on George, the World's Tallest Dog. That could have totally been him. If he was in the Santa Monica/Malibu/Oxnard area.

(This is George. He's the tallest dog in the world.
And could have possibly been confused for a donkey.)

The following day, on our way to the shoot, we stopped at a CVS to pick up sunscreen essentials and a few things we had all left at home. I suppose Malibu is similar to Santa Monica in that they don't allow plastic bags, as we were given a paper bag for our purchases. This will be important later.

(Bag shown not mine, but the same kind of bag.)

Our shoot went beautifully. I even got to see a whale, loads of dolphins and a seal (a loose seal, perhaps?**). For someone who is terrified of things that live underwater, it was pretty amazing to see them so close. 

After our 10-hour shoot day, we set off to have dinner with key members of the crew on the post-production (and shoot) side. At dinner, we were sitting much closer together than one normally does. I was sandwiched between my work brother (we'll call him Art, who you may remember from this previous post earlier this week) and my Director. At one point, I was eating my lobster tacos and I began to choke. No, it wasn't on my usual salad corn (which has caused Loxy to Heimlich me twice), but on a bit of lobster. I kept coughing at the table and couldn't stop. 

Art offered to smack me in the back to make it stop, but in my usual "I don't need no stinking help" when I really do way, I declined. I began coughing again and a VFX guy gave me his water. I took a sip and the coughing settled down for a moment. Then, in true and graceful Gouldylox fashion, I threw up at the table. I literally barfed all of my lobster tacos and calamari into my hand.

What makes this so memorable, besides actually throwing up unexpectedly in front of a group of fancy people, who were much cooler than me and also still eating, is the fact that no one noticed. I snagged my director's napkin from his unsuspecting lap and my grabbed my own and proceeded to vom silently at the table. My mom would be so proud, not to mention how she would remind everyone that she had intended to name me Grace, for obvious reasons. The next day, when I confessed to Art that I have accidentally yacked at the table, he high-fived me for stealth vomiting. Sorry, Tony. That is the truth about where your missing napkin went. Only me.

After dinner, we came back to the hotel to find a Rod Stewart and a Keith Moon lookalike were hanging it in our hotel. They were not impersonators, nor were they the real deal. They were just stuck in a time warp. Silly from a very long day, my male coworkers and I started to part ways. Clutching my brown paper CVS bag, my other coworker asked for his toothpaste and contact lens solution. I  handed him the toothpaste with no issue. However, still giggling over Rod Stewart, I reached in and accidentally handed him my giant box of Tampons. He looked at me, holding the large box and said, "Um..."

I am nothing if not graceful at all times.

(I was staying at C and wanted to go to A.
Sadly, I walked most of the way to B, before recalling my directional issues.)

On Wednesday, I managed to listen to the directions provided by my phone and walk about a mile away from the Third Street Promenade, before I gave up called Loxy to give me some help. Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't get all of the way to Venice before realizing/remembering I'm a navigational idiot. I finally made it to Sephora (and the Apple store), only for Sephora to NOT have the one item I wanted- new, fancy pressed powder foundation from Josie Maran. Some things never change. I'll never be able to navigate my way out of a brown paper bag, and the store I go out of my way to shop in never has what I want to buy.

On Thursday, I met up with two of my favorite beauty peeps, Amber from Beauty Junkies Unite and Robyn from Purely Cosmetics. They were both super sweet to drive all the way to visit me. I had met the lovely Amber last year, but never Robyn. Of course they are both incredibly kind, lovely women and it only took fifteen minutes for us to make our way to a makeup counter (and start talking constantly about Paula from Older Girl Beauty!). Immediately, we honed in on some new Rouge D'Armani Sheers. The colors were gorgeous and I immediately fell in love with three of them. Lucky for me, Robyn has been following my peachy obsession and reminded me that I only needed two of the colors, as I had just written about something exactly like the third. I walked away with only two colors, both of which were promised to wear for eight hours. I told the gentleman working the counter that if he was lying, I was coming back for him. If I get two hours out of these sheers, I'm lucky. If you see him, please tell me I'm coming back for him and that eight hours of wear is akin to something my dad used to call "horse pucky". But still, the colors are really, really pretty.

We ended the evening at Sephora (and Pinkberry), where I let Robyn spray paint my hair in-store with the new Rita Hazan highlights. I'm not sure I loved the results, but it was hard to tell from the giggling, picture-taking and already highlighted hair. Oh, hey Robyn, can I borrow that photo you took? I'm hoping you say ok...

Now, I'm home, happy to see Loxy and the furkids and ready to catch up on all of the beautiful things I missed while I was away!

* I didn't know it when I shot this, but people were getting freaky on the beach when we were scouting our location. Yeah, that's them in the background.
** Get it? A Loose Seal? Like the one that took Buster's arm?

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  1. It's completely understandable you would talk about me all night. I *am* kind of awesome. Not as awesome as stealth vomming, but up there pretty close.

  2. Aw, this is adorable! I love that all my favorite beauty peeps made a cameo in this post. What fun. 

  3. You can always count on me to make you look graceful. So there's that...

  4. Hmm, I may be re-thinking hanging with you in NYC. But....I do need a Sephora partner so....
    Oh and by the way, I can sympahize with the choking--I had to be given the Hemlick in an Arby's once.

  5. It's really hard to NOT talk about Paula. She invades most of my conversations. 


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